Downward Slope

When my mom became sick I was too young to understand all of it. It wasn’t the same as a cold, the flu, or even an ear infection. Her illnesses consisted of lots of hospital stays, doctor visits, and endless amounts of medications. I grew accustomed to her illnesses since I was a small child, It was “normal” for us as a family. As I grew older, I started taking over her medical charts, helping with appointments and so on. That’s when the bigger illnesses hit. She had emphysema and COPD which ended up leaving her on oxygen 24/7. It also made her more susceptible to pneumonia which was always scary when she contracted it and needed to be hospitalized. Mom also had insulin resistant diabetes which her blood sugar bounced all over the place. Her normal would be around 300-500. As time went on, it was harder to control the diabetes, she has been hospitalized for diabetic ketoacidosis and bounced back. I honestly cannot count how many times she had contracted sepsis and bounced back. I always knew when she spiked even a low grade fever, that it meant sepsis for her. During one hospital stay, mom was in for pneumonia and sepsis, they needed the crash cart. That was the first of many scary hospital trips. Throughout the years of being on high doses of steroids for her colitis, she had avascular necrosis. Her foot literally shattered while walking and needed surgery for it. That’s mostly when things went downhill. After the rehab facility, mom moved in with my little brother and his wife (which were a god send). She started turning around and came back home with my dad for the late spring and summer. I had my 3rd baby on August 5th and mom was so excited and happy about it. For years my husband and I lived with his parents and we were finally able to purchase our own home and mom couldn’t have been happier. On October 28th, mom called me saying she didn’t feel good. She had a temp of 99.0. So I picked her up, picked up my oldest from school and dropped all the kids off to be watched while I took mom to the hospital. By the time we got to the hospital in about a 45 min time frame from when I picked her up, her temp was 103. They got us in pretty fast and mom was completely out of it. Her eyes looked funny and she wasn’t saying anything that made sense. I told the nurse that usually when she’s like that, she is septic. The nurse agreed with me. Mom had sepsis and pneumonia. This time in the hospital felt different to me. It didnt sit right and I kept telling my husband that I felt like I was losing my mom. He was supportive and told me everything was going to be ok. We closed on our first house on November 3rd and started moving things in on November 10th, 2017. Mom was also released from the hospital that day. From the hospital, she insisted on coming straight to see our new home. Danny ( my husband), and his friend helped mom up our stairs because she was wheelchair bound. I cant tell you the look of happiness on her face was so beautiful! She was exhausted, but oh so happy. Throughout the next week, mom was able to come over 1 other time and stay the day with me which I thoroughly enjoyed! On November 17th around 11:30pm was the last time I was able to talk to her again and it was only through text. On Saturday November 18, 2017 I had my 3 month old Terra,  2.5 yr old Liliana, and my 12 yr old niece Ariana with us at my 7 yr old Melina’s basketball scrimmage. Thankfully my in-laws were there as well. My oldest brother called me from up north around 10:30 and he said the words ” Beth, Moms dead!” I was shocked and in disbelief. I hung up the phone. calmly walked over to the in-laws, told them I had to go – it was my mom. My mil (Jane)asked if everything was ok and I said “no.” They took the older kids and I left the building with Terra walking to the car. I managed to get Terra in the car and buckled in before I hit my knees crying in pain. My chest hurt soooo bad, a pain I could not fathom to describe. I managed to call my husband who barely understood the words that came out of my mouth. My in-laws came out with the kids to their car and Jane came over to me and held me. She got in and drove me home to get Danny. We went to my parents house and I fell apart in complete devastation. My mother was my world and I couldn’t understand what had happened. She passed away in her sleep and didn’t wake up in the morning. My little brother was out of State and I had to call him and tell him that mom didn’t wake up. I had to still hold it somewhat together for my babies.